Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Sitting , once again, in the emergency room last week, I wrote in my journal,

as my son lay writhing in pain. I was quite irritated after waiting forever. Here is

an excerpt:

"Why,why, why,why,why,why,why, are people with sniffles being taken before a person

moaning and groaning, and obviously having problems????" "Why, is this happening

again?? to such a wonderful person?' Here is a young man who serves the Lord with

all his heart and gives of himself freely to help people, and he is suffering and in


I will admit freely that I was a bit angry. Here is another excerpt:

" Why, why, why, why, why why, is there such a long wait? it is 2 a.m. and we have

been here since 11:45. " Finally at 2:05 the doctor came in and orders some tests

and asks the ridiculous question: "Would you like something for pain?"

After all the tests were performed and blood was taken (without the pain relief

shot ) we again sat waiting (in pain) until 4 a.m.

when the shot was finally administered. At 5 a.m. doc returned to say,"we are

sending you home,Its probably not your Crohns, its just irritation."

Irritation was a good word, it described me completely. On a side note, my son

is much

better , he is being treated with natural medicine now, and I believe is on the mend.

I am glad I had my notebook that night and captured all my feelings as they

happened and my thoughts, because, guess what?, IT'S OKAY TO ASK WHY. Its ok to have

questions, and feel betrayed ("my God , my God, why hast thou forsaken me?") as long

as we cling to Him while we do it. It is one thing to wrap your arms around Jesus

and cry and scream "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" and it is quite another to back away

from him and scream "Why is this happening,you betrayed me!," and walk away.

As I said in other posts, only He can take us through the hard times in life,

we may not understand, and we may ask," why". We may scream, "why?" but the answer

is always... JESUS.


lisas-sister said...

This was good-actualy I think Ethan must have been along the same lines because the last time he preached he said the same thing about asking God why as long as we are hlding to him.

Patty said...

What happened? I guess I was too late to ask.. for almost a year.. but What Happened my dear mom?