Sitting , once again, in the emergency room last week, I wrote in my journal,
as my son lay writhing in pain. I was quite irritated after waiting forever. Here is
"Why,why, why,why,why,why,why, are people with sniffles being taken before a person
moaning and groaning, and obviously having problems????" "Why, is this happening
again?? to such a wonderful person?' Here is a young man who serves the Lord with
all his heart and gives of himself freely to help people, and he is suffering and in
I will admit freely that I was a bit angry. Here is another excerpt:
" Why, why, why, why, why why, is there such a long wait? it is 2 a.m. and we have
been here since 11:45. " Finally at 2:05 the doctor came in and orders some tests
and asks the ridiculous question: "Would you like something for pain?"
After all the tests were performed and blood was taken (without the pain relief
shot ) we again sat waiting (in pain) until 4 a.m.
when the shot was finally administered. At 5 a.m. doc returned to say,"we are
sending you home,Its probably not your Crohns, its just irritation."
Irritation was a good word, it described me completely. On a side note, my son
better , he is being treated with natural medicine now, and I believe is on the mend.
I am glad I had my notebook that night and captured all my feelings as they
happened and my thoughts, because, guess what?, IT'S OKAY TO ASK WHY. Its ok to have
questions, and feel betrayed ("my God , my God, why hast thou forsaken me?") as long
as we cling to Him while we do it. It is one thing to wrap your arms around Jesus
and cry and scream "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" and it is quite another to back away
from him and scream "Why is this happening,you betrayed me!," and walk away.
As I said in other posts, only He can take us through the hard times in life,
we may not understand, and we may ask," why". We may scream, "why?" but the answer
is always... JESUS.