Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Sitting , once again, in the emergency room last week, I wrote in my journal,

as my son lay writhing in pain. I was quite irritated after waiting forever. Here is

an excerpt:

"Why,why, why,why,why,why,why, are people with sniffles being taken before a person

moaning and groaning, and obviously having problems????" "Why, is this happening

again?? to such a wonderful person?' Here is a young man who serves the Lord with

all his heart and gives of himself freely to help people, and he is suffering and in


I will admit freely that I was a bit angry. Here is another excerpt:

" Why, why, why, why, why why, is there such a long wait? it is 2 a.m. and we have

been here since 11:45. " Finally at 2:05 the doctor came in and orders some tests

and asks the ridiculous question: "Would you like something for pain?"

After all the tests were performed and blood was taken (without the pain relief

shot ) we again sat waiting (in pain) until 4 a.m.

when the shot was finally administered. At 5 a.m. doc returned to say,"we are

sending you home,Its probably not your Crohns, its just irritation."

Irritation was a good word, it described me completely. On a side note, my son

is much

better , he is being treated with natural medicine now, and I believe is on the mend.

I am glad I had my notebook that night and captured all my feelings as they

happened and my thoughts, because, guess what?, IT'S OKAY TO ASK WHY. Its ok to have

questions, and feel betrayed ("my God , my God, why hast thou forsaken me?") as long

as we cling to Him while we do it. It is one thing to wrap your arms around Jesus

and cry and scream "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" and it is quite another to back away

from him and scream "Why is this happening,you betrayed me!," and walk away.

As I said in other posts, only He can take us through the hard times in life,

we may not understand, and we may ask," why". We may scream, "why?" but the answer

is always... JESUS.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Have you ever been in a storm? I don't mean a "sit on the porch and watch the lightening" kind of storm; I mean a "run for shelter" kind of storm. A couple of years ago there was such a storm that came within a few miles of my home. I awakened in the wee hours of the morning to an uncanny stillness. It should have brought peace, since the hours before were filled with lightening, rain, thunder and wind. But the stillness,instead, brought fear and foreboding. I immediately began to dress and pack a bag with a few diapers and clothes as I woke the children and urged my family quickly to the car. As we raced to the nearby storm shelter, the sky was an frightening green. Later we discovered that the nearby town was destroyed and left relatives and friends with no homes or possessions. That Was a Storm!

Storms come in other forms such as physical illness and disabilities, financial disaster, emotional distress, or marital devastation. It is important to have a storm shelter for any such event. We have doctors, financial planners, psychiatrists, counselors and lawyers, but are they what is needed? They certainly perform their duties , but when the bottom falls out in any of the areas mentioned, are they the total solution? Not for me. Jesus is my rock and my fortress, He is my storm shelter and when all is lost He is there to pick up the pieces that the storm has left behind. He is the answer to my questions and the strong arm I lean on. When I am able to sit on the porch and watch the storm, I don't remember that He is there, I solve my problems and leave Him out, but when the storm is too hard and the wind blows me backward, suddenly I call and He is there because He was always there, the difference is, this time I let Him help me. He will help you too, if you let Him.